Whether the relationship between husband and wife is good or not can be determined by looking at the decoration!

Yes, my roommate and I are in a relationship.

The decoration layout of a home is the truest display of the relationship between husband and wife. To put it simply, whoever decorates the home according to their preferences basically determines who is in charge.

But, does the compromised person fully accept it? Should a person not have his or her own interests and hobbies in a marriage relationship and completely obey the arrangements of the other half? Or will both sides divide the space according to their own preferences, without making concessions to each other?

Decoration is like a touchstone to test the relationship between husband and wife. It ranges from the design company, the overall style, to the tiles or floors, whether it conforms to personal living habits when you live in the future, etc. In short, if you are not careful, it will rise to \”do you respect me?\” \”Do you have me in your heart?\” The marital situation became precarious.

In \”Goodbye Lover 4\”, the three couples each have their own problems, so how can you save them (Liu Shuang ) and Ge Xi have been married for nine years and slept in separate rooms for more than a year. Living under the same roof, the two of them live their own lives, like a pair of roommates who have lived together for many years.

Ge Xi also directly said in the program interview: It’s okay for her to have a few people at home, it just takes up a room. This meant that the two of them had almost no communication at home. She even replaced the double sofa in the living room with a single one, just because she wouldn\’t watch TV with her if she had a few hands left. Even Yang Zi and Huang Shengyi are more like work partners than a couple.

In fact, treating couples as \”roommates\” is not a phenomenon that has only been revealed in recent years in marriage relationships. There is even a saying on the Internet: Conditional Sleeping in separate rooms or separate beds is the trend.

After all, for middle-aged couples, sleeping separately brings with them the pressure of life and is more of a helpless move forced by reality. From the moment they raise children, the work and rest of the couple are completely staggered, and romance becomes Become a victim of cultivating the next generation

Picture from the movie \”Catch a Baby\”▐

Even if you don’t have children, real-world financial pressures come one after another as you grow older. The excitement and joy of love, dopamine and adrenaline gradually decline and disappear. As a result, the relationship between the couple begins to resemble a partner. , like teammates, like a community of interests, but not like a \”lover\”

Even if we can seek common ground while reserving differences on major matters, small matters such as snoring by one party, irregular work and rest, and different preferences for soft and hard mattresses, etc., are problems that cannot be ignored over time.

Picture from the TV series \”Little Couple\”▐

As time goes by, more and more people born in the 1990s have taken on the role of \”parents\”.

Compared with the 70s and 80s generation, they pay more attention to their own feelings, and are more sober and cautious about falling in love and getting married. The understanding of intimate relationships is also different from the previous tradition of \”loving couples, inseparable\” concept. Instead, they focus on whether they and the other party have a comfortable experience in an intimate relationship. They firmly believe that retaining a certain amount of personal space will make it easier for the relationship to last longer.

Some psychology experts believe that appropriate time alone can allow couples to find themselves in life and better support and understand each other.

In order to confirm the \”new direction of intimate relationships\”, COSMO interviewed three couples and used their experiences to explore the differences between two people in the same space. A story about being disturbed and feeling each other’s company at all times

——Library and E-Sports City——

Hostress: Dou Ke, 31 years old, media industry practitioner and Xiaohongshu home blogger

Host: Fried shrimp, 31 years old, employee of a state-owned enterprise

Coordinates: Beijing, 72 square meters top floor of building with attic and terrace

Doukou said: \”At the right time, we can immerse ourselves in our own spiritual corners, but the entire home can accommodate these private spaces together, and we can accompany each other in an independent atmosphere.\”

Kabuto likes Lego and puzzles,

Usually under the book wall and on the desk Enjoy the spiritual world▐

Zha Kexia loves watching movies and playing games,

Make your area very \”cyber\” ▐

The home of Mr. Dou Ke and Mr. Fried Shrimp is located outside the Fifth Ring Road in Beijing. It is a top floor with a terrace and a loft. They are not only accompanied by each other, but also by two cute puppies. .

Although their married life lasted only one year, they have known each other for fifteen years. The simple friendship between them when they were classmates and they met when they were young made them cherish this relationship even more. In them, you can see the long-lasting love between them. The tacit understanding and harmony of companionship can also feel the sweetness and enthusiasm of a newlywed.

The reason why this beautiful emotion can be kept fresh for a long time is that two people have the same understanding of \”home\”. Even close couples must know how to respect each other as independent individuals and not interfere with each other\’s space. Good, good spirit.

The home of Doukko and Fried Shrimp▐

Double and fried shrimp People love to stay at home and like to be quiet, have always wanted to own a house with a loft and a terrace. The two-story space can store their favorite figurines, Lego and books. So after buying the current house, the two immediately started developing it. Dou Ke\’s fun lies in puzzles and Lego building, and he also likes to read books. A clean desk is placed in the attic, and a whole wall of grid cabinets is built in the high-ceiling space. Zha Kexia likes skiing and playing games, so the attic has a cloakroom with ski storage and a cyber-feeling e-sports corner.

It seems that the space between the two people overlaps a bit. Doukko\’s desk and Zhakosha\’s gaming table are placed back to back, but Zhakosha will put on his headphones when Douko needs some quiet time, and the two don\’t know each other. No worries, they are immersed in their own hobbies and enjoying each other\’s company at the same time. They can both gain a sense of belonging in their respective spiritual corners.

——Sunroom and basketball court——

Hostress: Fiona, 35 years old, HR of IT company

Male host: Wang Jian, 38 years old, owner of a design company

Coordinates: Wuqing, Tianjin, a two-story detached house with a courtyard of nearly 200 square meters

Wang Jian said:\”Home decoration is like the embodiment of the relationship between husband and wife. My wife and I prefer to be independent from each other. The existence of independent spaces will make each other feel more comfortable and calm.”

Slam Dunk Master is the dream of many boys since childhood, including Wang Jian▐

Fiona likes to be quiet. For her, eating snacks in the sun is a daily enjoyment▐

The residence of Wang Jian and his wife Fiona is a two-story stacked detached house of nearly 200 square meters, with an independent courtyard and an additional basement.

In daily life, Wang Jian’s work attributes are relatively free. Many times he will stay alone in the basement. The entire space is decorated with his best dreams when he was young. In this place, Super Mario can be seen everywhere. , Transformers and Slam Dunk, Wang Jian’s working atmosphere and sports atmosphere are full of fun, and he can empty his mind and enjoy solitude at any time.

The space belonging to Wang Jian is decorated with his childhood dreams▐

On the other side, Fiona is in the sun, adding green to the yard Water the plants, lie on the lounge chair, eat snacks, and enjoy a moment of comfort. The couple, who live a casual life, have built a world of their own with the love and respect they give each other, but this does not prevent them from gathering in the courtyard and enjoying a relaxed and comfortable world for two.

Compared to Wang Jian\’s \”dynamic zone\”, Fiona prefers to enjoy the sunshine quietly▐

Recalling the past during the initial decoration, Wang Jian said that he and Fiona both had their own little ideas about the style planning of the space, and no one could convince the other. Therefore, the two people, who had been with each other for a long time and were relatively independent, made an agreement. Each is responsible for its own spiritual harbor and does not interfere with each other.

Mutual respect for independent individuals is also an expression of love between husband and wife. In their eyes, home decoration is a concrete manifestation of the relationship between husband and wife. They prefer that he and his wife be independent of each other, and the existence of separate spaces will It makes the two of them feel more comfortable and calm. At the same time, they also hope to get rid of the heavy work and relax themselves in the most comfortable atmosphere in their hearts to the maximum extent.

——Leather \”box\” and botanical garden——

Female Owner: Xiaoqiu, 36 years old, manager of design studio

Male host:Fu Chaoyue, 34 years old, formerly in the financial industry, now an interior designer

Landmark: Tongzhou, Beijing, 300 square meters small courtyard

Fu Chaoyue said:\”The initial plan only required it to be practical, but slowly as our life here became more and more intense, gradually this A house becomes an outward expression of our personality. \”

Fu Chaoyue’s leather workbench,

Everyday, he finds new design inspiration in making handmade leather goods▐

Xiaoqiu started raising plants when she was a student.

Take care of green every day Planting has become her habit▐

Now it seems that this 300-square-meter bungalow is full of design ingenuity, but at first the couple did not think too much about soft decoration design. Their requirements for the house only included the kitchen, bathroom, and bedrooms. Just have functional space.

Xiaoqiu is a designer and has his own \”Qiushe B&B Design\” studio. His husband, Fu Chaoyue, also quit his job in financial risk control 7 years ago and manages design with Xiaoqiu. Studio. The two of them have been exposed to design and designing for others. They are immersed in this atmosphere. Of course, they also want to decorate the home they live together with ideas and characteristics according to their own preferences.

Xiaoqiu’s design studio is also in the house where they live, which means the two of them are together almost 24 hours a day. They realize that they need to satisfy their own preferences in this home to achieve the best results. Therefore, there is Mr. Fu’s handmade leather workbench, coffee tasting table, Xiaoqiu’s botanical garden, and sunny kitchen.

Part of Mr. Fu’s design work is to develop soft furnishings such as decorative paintings and lamps.He makes products by hand, so you can often see him sitting in front of the leather workbench doing handiwork. During his breaks from work, he will make various small leather goods to give to himself or friends. He likes to immerse himself in the process of making handicrafts and get design inspiration. It can also calm the mind.

Xiaoqiu\’s \”personal space\” is spread across every corner of the house. She likes to take care of flowers and plants, and has been raising plants since she was in school. The tallest plant in the house has grown to more than 3 meters. They also built 4 patios for lighting and ventilation so that the plants can have better lighting conditions. .

Having their own independent space allows them to relax more in this home. This comfortable feeling can also provide more inspiration for their design work. Others in the studio also fall in love with this comfort. The working atmosphere is always very lively. It is common for a group of people to sit around the fire and make tea in the sun room, chatting and looking at the flowers and plants in the courtyard, and not wanting to leave all day long.

——

How a love can last for decades and never tire of each other is a topic that people have been discussing.

Not fighting for the day and the night, not the sun and the moon, might as well be one of the answers.

Let this breathing and intimate relationship maintain the passion and frankness of first love, while also leaving the calmness and calmness after time has settled. \”We all know that in this world, the original No one is 100% consistent. That’s why we find space for ourselves and each other. You and I can both remain independent and respond in a timely manner when we want to be intimate, so that we don’t wear away the hard-earned feelings so quickly. ”

Some articles are from the November 2024 issue of \”Fashion COSMO\”

Editor: Wang Leijing

Text: Carl

New media editor: Lan Xinyu

Typesetting: Lydia

New media design: Jiang Heilejiu

Picture: Douban, provided by the interviewee, Internet